5 Types of Seminary Professors
Now that the semester’s over, I thought it’d be fun to share different kinds of professors I’ve come across while in seminary. I’ve noticed that every professor I’ve had has had a different style of teaching, not just academically, but spiritually. They’ve all been equally powerful, but in different ways, like they’ve learned different martial arts from Jesus on how to efficiently take down our spirits. So I’ve assigned different characters to them to express what I see when I’m sitting in class. These are 5 types of seminary professors I’ve seen so far.
- The Rocky
These are the professors who pull no punches in class, will call you out on your crap and give your flesh a bloody nose and drag it out of the classroom. They’re the ones who say things like, “You don’t need to keep confessing your sin. You just need to stop sinning.” They keep it one hundred and force you to really think about what you’re saying before you say it. Come to class ready to be convicted. Don’t come with excuses. Come with a band-aid.
- The Kung Fu Panda
These are the professors who are real jolly and playful, but will randomly floor you with a conviction body slam when you least expect it. So you’ll be laughing at how they were making fun of that pastor that backstabbed them then they’ll say, “Then the Lord told me, “Healing flows out of My wounds. What flows out of yours?”” Ouch.
- The Jackie Chan
Have you ever seen the Jackie Chan movies where they’ve got him cornered in a place with no weapons and he still manages to break people’s legs? He could be in a room full of toilet paper and still strangle them. These are the professors who know their stuff so well and just know how to plain think on another level that they can take the stupidest questions and make everyone learn something from it. So a student might say something like, “Was Jesus a girl?” And you’re thinking, “Who the heck are you and how did you get in this class?” Then the professor replies, “If God is a spirit, then why did He become a man and not a woman?” And you’re looking at the toilet paper sword, wondering, “How. The heck. Did you do that?”
- The Jean Grey
These are the professors who don’t even need to say much to destroy you. They’ll ask you a simple question like, “How are you?” And you say, “I’m fine.” Then they give you this look and say, “Okay.” And all of a sudden, you’re realizing all the sins and emotional wounds you’ve been hiding and before you know it you’re crying and a demon’s been cast out of you.
- The Avatar
These are the professors who seem to be able to call down fire from Heaven in the middle of class. They’ve had such profound experiences with God and walked so closely with Him that their lectures sound like they’re quoting what God told them over breakfast that morning. One second you’re learning the Hebrew alphabet and the next everyone is crying and spontaneous worship breaks out. Or you think you’re learning a simple verse and then every verse you thought you understood gets shattered to pieces. So they’ll say something like, “In America, we think the Gospel is, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life.” But in reality, God loves you and has a plan for the world and He’s inviting you to be a part of it.” It’s not about you—it’s about God.