The Deja Vu Conspiracy (Chapter Seven)

Wednesday, February 27th 2019


“I figured it out!” Mike shouted.

The group stared at him in disbelief. His eyes were bloodshot, his clothes were wrinkled, and his fingers were fidgeting uncontrollably. Behind him the whiteboard was filled with the deja vus, lines and arrows connecting each of them, with equations and Greek symbols scribbled everywhere. He looked like a maniac, but he felt like a genius. 

“You alright, bro?” Kenny asked, concern all over his face.

“Have you slept?” Jasmine said. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Mike replied as his face twitched. “I figured it out.”

Harry looked him up and down in disapproval.

“But first,” Mike looked them over. “Did any of you have deja vu’s?”

Everyone looked at each other, but no one raised their hands.

“I knew it!” Mike cried. “I knew it…I knew it…” He chuckled to himself and Kenny moved his chair away from him. “There won’t be any more because God has given us everything we need. There’s no more clues.”

“Are you high?” Kenny asked.

“No!” Mike shouted. “Listen to me. We were assuming that all of this was one giant event. That’s why it didn’t make sense. But think about it: if we had done this experiment in 2017 for 2018 we’d be trying to connect all the major events into one big event, but that would be ridiculous. Because so many unrelated things happened last year, but they all still made the news.”

“Just get to the point,” Jasmine said, clearly disturbed.

“It’s not one event,” Mike answered. “It’s several.”

The girls and Kenny looked at each other, slightly intrigued.

Mike turned to the whiteboard, planning on referencing it, but upon seeing the mess of symbols that it was, turned back and faced the group.

“Are you ready?”

“No,” Harry said.

Mike launched into it.

“First there’s gonna be a threat of another world war—maybe North Korea or some country in the Middle East attacks us—and everyone will be afraid of getting drafted. But they won’t attack us with a nuke—it’ll be a virus named Corona that will give everyone in America diarrhea and that’s why there’ll be no more toilet paper and it will all feel like a real live version of The Last of Us: Part II. On a completely unrelated note, Floyd Mayweather will get killed by a police officer in Minneapolis and it will echo what Kaepernick was protesting and the whole country will be in an uproar. And then Kobe will die.”

The group stared in stunned silence as he stood there, chest heaving after his breathless rambling.

No one said a word for several seconds.

Then they all broke out laughing. 

Mike smiled nervously, confused by the reaction.

After several minutes, the group finally calmed down enough to speak.

“So let me get this straight,” Harry said, wiping away tears. “A global pandemic named after a Mexican beer is gonna make us all run out of toilet paper?”

“Yes,” Mike said with a straight face.

“That has to be the funniest thing I’ve heard in my life.”

“Same,” Kenny chuckled. “Except for that part about Kobe. That was foul, man.”

Mike’s smile slowly faded. “Wait. You don’t believe me?”

“No,” Jasmine laughed. “And ALL of that’s gonna happen in 2020? You’ve gotta admit, that’s way more than a little crazy.”

Mike turned to the whiteboard then back to the group and laughed at himself. “Maybe you’re right. I guess…I guess I got carried away.”

Harry clapped his hands and pulled his chair in. “You know what that means.”

The group nodded slowly and Mike joined them.

He shook his head as they started discussing the Mandela Effect. They were right: it had been too crazy to be true.

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