Needless to say, things were never the same after that night. I had nightmares for three months straight. Three months. Jina had to sleep with me to keep me from waking up in the middle of the night screaming. My parents kept asking us what was wrong with me, but I never told them. Oh, and you already know I got crazy paranoid around every guy at school. Talk about trust issues. I mean, it was great that nothing actually happened, but my emotions didn’t know that. Cuz the nightmares definitely made it feel like it had actually happened.
But even though I had it pretty bad, I felt like Jina had it worse. I told her all about what I was feeling, but she never talked about what she was feeling. I did notice that she never let me walk home alone again. And she also started playing every sport possible and spent hours a week at the gym so that by junior year, she was starting varsity on the football, basketball, and track team.
Meanwhile, by junior year, I’d finally mastered shaving, I’d found the right shade of foundation for my face, I’d found a stylist that kept my eyebrows on fleek, and Kerry and Teresa had become my best friends for life.
“What are you guys got planned for the weekend?” Kerry asked us at lunch.
“Eating,” I said. “And…eating.”
“Aren’t you on a diet?” Teresa laughed.
“I was on a diet, in a diet, and now I’m over a diet,” I replied. I never had to lose weight when I was a guy. But once I became a girl, it was like weight came looking for me everywhere I went. I could go a whole week and not eat and I’d STILL gain weight. I just thought about a cookie and got fat. It made no type of sense.
But what also didn’t make sense was that attitude I caught in Teresa’s voice. Was she mad at me?
“Speaking of diet…” Kerry said in a low tone, looking across the caf. We followed her eyes and saw who she was looking at. Davion Fine was walking between the tables, dressed in a black cardigan, brown slim fit pants, and brown vans.
“I’d snack on him any day,” Kerry said.
I laughed as we all watched him walk towards our table. It was really weird when I first started finding guys attractive. I tried to fight it at first. But the more I did, the more it hurt and the more I thought about them. So I finally gave in somewhere around the middle of sophomore year. Besides, this was just temporary. One more year and I’d be back to liking girls again.
But like Kerry said, Davion Fine lived up to his name. He wasn’t braulic or anything. He had a pretty regular figure. But the dude could dress. And he always smelled so good. I just wanted him to hold me so I could just breathe in his cologne then collapse in his arms.
And the guy was dumb smart too. He was a senior, but word had it that half his classes were college courses. And with those black Ray Ban glasses, he made smart look sexy.
He walked towards us, teeth lighting up the room as he did, and everything went in slow motion as we watched him. Then, like I was in the middle of a dream, he looked over and winked at me.
I saw it. I know I saw it.
Then he walked past with that smooth-as-butter-swag in his step and kept it moving.
“Did you see that?!” I squealed to the girls. “Did you see that? He winked at me!”
“No, he didn’t!” Kerry squealed back. ‘He was winking at me!”
“He wasn’t winking at either of y’all,” Teresa scoffed. “He was clearly winking at yo girl here.”
“Whatever, T,” I said. “You’re just mad that I’m about Mrs. Fine.”
Kerry sucked her teeth. “Not before me, girl. You better get in line.”
And we all laughed.