Adventures in Cleveland: Part 2

We’re driving down, looking for this liquor store in Cleveland, and finding none. But what we do eventually see is a deli with a huge sign of a Coors Light bottle on the door. Mind you, I don’t drink so I never have any reason to be in a liquor store. So in my mind, I’m thinking, “There’s a Coors Light sign outside. There must be liquor inside.”


So we go inside and I ask the cashier, “Can I get the smallest shot of liquor you have?”

And he says, “We don’t have liquor here. Go down to 125th and Union and you’ll find a liquor store.”

Cool. Simple.

So we leave, drive down the street, and start looking for Union. We pass one cross street. Then another. Then another. Then more and more until the entire neighborhood changes and we don’t see Union. We’re officially lost. At this point, Grace, like most wise women would in this situation, suggests, “We’re not barbarians. We have technology. Let’s put it into the GPS.”

But I stop her right there.

“No,” I say. “This is an adventure. Put the phone away. Let’s make this interesting.” Before you jump to conclusions, this isn’t a “man” thing where I don’t wanna ask for directions. This is an adventure thing where I want things to be adventurous. So we put the phone away and Grace agrees that we proceed with the adventure.

Seconds later, we see an old man standing on the side of the road carrying several grocery bags in his hands. So we pull up and Grace asks, “Excuse me, sir. Can you tell us where the nearest liquor store is?”

And he replies in a raspy voice, “Ey, I’m headin’ in that direction right now. You wanna give me a ride? I’ll give y’all 4 dollars.”

Grace looks at me.

I look at Grace.

All the workers in my head look at each other and ask, “We’re in Cleveland. What’s the worst that can happen? What would an adventurer do?”

So I nod to the man and say, “Sure. Get inside.”

And in he goes.

Little do we know what we’e getting ourselves into…


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