Cupid’s Bullets: Autumn

“Ey yo, shwaty, lemme holla at you.”

I flashed him a polite grin, but kept walking.

“C’mon, baby,” he insisted, folliwing me down the sidewalk.

“No, thank you.” I kept it moving, hand inside my purse and gripping the butt of my gun. “Have a nice day.”

“Trust me,” he said. He rushed in front of me and cut me off. “I know you want some of this.” He pulled out his gun and aimed it at my face. Point blank range.

I sighed as I stared past the barrel and into his eyes. “This is not gonna end well for you.”

Before he could pull the trigger, I yanked my gun out and fired three rejections into his chest. His body flailed as he hit the ground and screams broke out around the intersection.

“Man down!” someone shouted.

I rolled my eyes as I slipped the gun back in my purse and kept walking.

“Ey yo,” I heard behind me.

I glanced over my shoulder and was shocked to see him climbing to his feet. Dang, boy. Can’t you take a hint?

“How ‘bout this?” He reached into a duffle bag on the ground and pulled out an M-16 and aimed it at me.

 You gotta be kidding me.

I turned and ducked behind a parked car just as he unleashed a spray of feelings at me. The streets exploded with rings as the feelings clattered against streetlights and traffic lights and dented car doors.

“C’mon, baby! Gimme a chance!”

I shook my head as I rummaged through my purse for the parts I was looking for. Within seconds, I’d assembled the shotgun and waited for the gunfire to die down. When the silence came and he was reloading his feelings, I spun out from behind the car, leveled my barrel at him down the block, and blasted him. The rejection hit him square in the chest and he flew off his feet and landed on his back.

I stood up and watched him from my spot, car horns blaring all around me and people running and screaming for cover. Three…Two…

He shook his head then slowly crawled to his feet.

     Just stay down, will you?

He reached into his belt, pulled off two grenades, and tossed them at me. I dropped the shotgun and ran for cover around the corner of a building just as the grenades exploded the car I had been behind seconds ago. I rummaged through my purse again and pulled out three land mines. As I set them up on the pavement, I heard the beat of helicopter blades above me. When I looked, I saw him sitting in the helicopter with a machine gun teret aimed down at me.

“What is wrong with you?!” I screamed over the blades. “Leave me alone!”

But he fired the onslaught of feelings and I ran for cover again, windows and asphalt exploding behind me as I went. I tucked and rolled behind a jeep and searched through my purse again. I worked feverishly and put the parts of the biggest weapon I had available. I set up the tripod on the ground and aimed the rocket launcher at the helicopter with a giant NO etched across the shell in red letters.

Sorry I have to do this. I thought for a second. No, I’m not.

   Forget the helicopter, I was going straight for the kill. I aimed the rocket directly at his face and fired away. It hit him right in the mouth and the next thing I knew, the sky was washed in a giant cloud of fire and metal debris was raining down on the streets.

When the dust cleared, the street was burning, smoke was rising, and fire trucks were wailing onto the scene. But he was gone.


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