Bartholomew’s Letters

 

Recently, a friend and I were talking about what it must’ve been like to be Bartholomew–one of the few disciples that we never hear anything about. Why doesn’t he have a book? And why don’t any of the other disciples ever mention him? What must it have been like to be the one not-so-famous guy in a group of supernaturally famous guys? If he kept a journal, I think this is what it would’ve sounded like…

 

 

Day 8:

Dear Lord,

I don’t mean to complain, but I can’t help but notice that no one seems to recognize me whenever we go out. They had me wear a nametag in the synagogue today because they kept forgetting who I was. Do You know how humiliating that is? And when I stepped out to go to the bathroom when You were preaching in the house, no one would let me back in through the crowd because I was “cutting in line”.

 

Day 93:

Dear Lord,

One of John’s disciples started preaching to me about You today. I tried to stop him and explain that I was Your disciple, but he told me that, “Many will call Him “Lord, Lord”, but He will reply, “I never knew you.”” At which point, I turned and walked away, which convinced him I was obviously too ill-mannered to “know the Prince of Peace”.

 

Day 122:

Dear Lord,

Remember when You raised that girl from the dead? Then You told her parents not to tell anyone about it? I bumped into them at a bar mitzvah today and the father whispered to me, “Wanna hear a secret?” then proceeded to tell me how You had brought his daughter back to life. When I told him that I already knew this, he exploded in a fit of rage and demanded to know what spineless rat had gone around spilling secrets to “random townspeople”. I explained that I was Your disciple and he threatened to have me stoned for lying.

 

Day 129:

Dear Lord,

Nicodemus tried to tell me how to be born again today. I stopped him and tried to tell him who I was, but John’s disciples showed up again and started telling me to repent.

 

Day 237:

Dear Lord,

Lazarus called me Peter today. I figured he was still a little delusional from coming back from the dead. But then both James’ showed up and he knew who both of them were. And both Simons. And both Judases. And ALL of the Marys!!! There’s only one Bartholomew. How do you confuse that name?!?!

 

Day 342:

Dear Lord,

Legion came back today. Thankfully, I remembered what You taught us about authority and I cast him back out again. It was really pretty amazing. But no one was there to see it. And when I told You about it, You gave me a pat on the back and said, “This stays between you and Me.” This would’ve been well and good if it hadn’t come right before the 72 came back, telling all sorts of wonderful stories about the miracles they’d done with Your power. When they asked me what I’d been doing with my time, I said nothing. Like You told me to. This inspired Peter to claim that I would never have a book named after me. Why do You hate me?

 

Day 490:

Dear Lord,

I ran into the Samaritan woman again today. She was preaching to a group of women at a well. I was glad to see she was doing so well, no pun intended, so I approached her to congratulate her on her new life. I asked her how things were with her ex-husbands and she was shocked that I knew so much about her, since she “had never seen me before in her life”.

 

Day 987:

Dear Lord,

Peter denied You tonight. Just like You said he would. I tried to warn him after the first crow, but he wouldn’t listen. Then he ran off after the second one before I could cheer him up. And then the servant girl walked up to me, gave me a silver platter of bones, and said, “Pilate wants a refill on ribs.”

 

Day 990:

Dear Lord,

You came back from the dead today. It was really exciting and really great to see You again. But I couldn’t help but notice that You never said anything about me to anyone. You told Mary to tell Peter You were back, You made a surprise visit to see Thomas, and You had lunch with the two disciples on the road to Emmaus. Just wondering, when are You going to tell people about all the adventures we’ve been having?

 

 

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One thought on “Bartholomew’s Letters

  1. I love this Emmanuel. This is great stuff. I laughed at the “bar mitzpha” story. I was confused and/or interested about the ending, and whether it was meant to be serious or induce a thoughtful response. I think it did touch on the loneliness that some people feel around “super-christians” we see in church in on facebook.

    Like

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