The Awkward Train Rider: Love at First Sight

I walk into the vestibule where two guys are talking about what true love is and I know this is the place for me. So I sit down and listen to their conversation. One is a middle-aged guy with slick brown hair in a blazer and slacks and he has a really smooth, New York, Italian accent. He reminds me of a blend between Joe Pesci in My Cousin Vinny and Shia LaBeouf in Indiana Jones and he’s mastered the art of saying the f word with as much finesse as humanly possible. Never before has a four letter word been so entertaining. It’s just magnificent. The second guy is older with some gray streaks and is dressed in a flannel and jeans and has a slight Lebanese accent.


“Listen,” Joe Pesci is saying. “Any guy dat comes to da house, just punch him in the f-ing face.”

“No,” the older man laughs. “Then you have legal problems. I don’t want that.”

“If a guy can’t handle a punch to da face, he don’t deserve to date your daughta.”

Then there’s a short lull in the conversation so I decide to jump in and bring it back to life.

“Do you guys believe in love at first sight?”

At this, the older man sighs a deep sigh—the kind of sigh a grandfather would give when their grandson asks them about their younger days. He then proceeds to give me a very over-my-head-speech on how answering that question is similar to answering what the difference between happiness and joy is.

Then Pesci cuts in and says, “What are you doin’, eh? The kid is asking you’s a question cuz he wants your advice. You’s a wise guy so show him you’s a wise guy.”

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” I ask him now.

He takes a breath as he thinks about it then says, “I believe it can happen, but it doesn’t happen to everyone.”

Nice. Short. Thought-provoking. To the point. Until next time on Love and Life with Joe Pesci and Shia Labeouf. The next thing I know it’s my stop and I thank the guys for the talk and get out my seat.

Then Pesci looks up at me and says as I walk out, “Don’t overtink your existence, kid.”

I’ll try to remember that.



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