Why I’m Confused about the Gay Marriage Debate

After seeing the Supreme Court decision on gay marriage and different reactions to it, I wasn’t angry, bitter, excited or happy. I was confused. I was confused because I’ve never understood what bothers me about the gay marriage debate. On the one hand, I sympathize with gays and lesbians and think it’s wrong for them to be discriminated against and am completely against bashing, bullying and bigotry. It seems completely logical that everyone should be treated equally and get equal rights, regardless of the lifestyle they live. Why would God say something is wrong if people are born that way? What would I do if I found out I was gay? How would it change the way I think about God and the Bible?

But something’s always bugged me about someone, particularly someone who isn’t gay, arguing that this isn’t a big deal because everyone should have the right to love whoever they want. After all, love is love, right?

But for Christians, this isn’t about “love”. It’s not about civil rights, it’s not about homosexuality and it’s not even about marriage. At the end of the day, this is about obedience. In America, the one thing we hold more precious than anything is our freedom. And we define freedom, at least nowadays, as the privilege to do whatever we want without having to be held responsible to anyone else. Whenever anything comes along that threatens that freedom, we attack it. This is what makes Christianity so repulsive to people—the idea that a God, whether good or evil, liberal or conservative, would tell us how to live is infuriating and, quite frankly, unconstitutional.

God says that homosexuality is a sin. We said it’s okay. He said divorce is a sin. We said that’s okay too. He said fornication is a sin. And we said that’s okay. He said lying is a sin and we said, well, it depends. What other things does God say are sins will we eventually look at and say, “That’s okay.”? That’s what this is about. Because if it wasn’t homosexuality, it’d be something else.

To put it in another light, Jesus tells us to love our enemies and to pray for those who persecute us. Most of us were angry at the shooting in Charleston, and rightfully so. But how many of us genuinely prayed for Dylann Roof? That’s a commandment. And we look at the family members of the victims forgiving him on live television and think to ourselves, “They’re REALLY spiritual.” But in reality, that’s Christianity 101. At the end of the day, whether it’s homosexuality, fornication or forgiveness, the issue is the same—obedience. The reason this is such a volatile issue is that no one wants to be told what to do, even if it’s God speaking.

So before you bash gays or bash anti-gays, or spew an opinion for either side, examine yourself: are you doing what you want or what God wants?

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