Why I Hate Red Lights

I hate being late.

Wait…I worry that what you heard was, “I really don’t like being late.” That is incorrect. I abhor lateness with every fiber of my being. If I had the choice between termites eating the inside of my eyeballs and being late to an appointment, I’d dive into a termite ocean any day.

So I hate red lights.

Those hanging lanterns from Hell, laughing at us with their demonic fiery glow from the pit of the Devil’s imagination. My body gets so hot when I’m at a red light that I swear I catch instant fevers. I’ve actually tried to stare the lights down, hoping that I could somehow switch them by shooting beams of electromagnetic radiation from my mind through the windshield. At best, I usually pick an arbitrary number to count down from and threaten the light that it better change by the time I get to zero or else…I’ll scream at it. Because what else can I do?

And that’s the lesson I’ve had to learn lately. Sitting there in my car at an intersection, late for an appointment with more traffic waiting for me on the parkway, I discover that there’s absolutely nothing I can do to change a red light. So I’ve had to learn to sit there, turn on some classical music and just breathe. Then when the light finally does turn green, I can speed off like I’m in Fast and Furious 7—until I get to another red light and we start all over again.

Stop. Beethoven. Breathe.

There are a lot of things you can do. Speeding up time isn’t one of them. Contrary to popular belief, stressing out over something doesn’t make it better–it makes it bigger.

So for any of you at a red light in your life(waiting for colleges to get back to you, waiting for your business to take off, waiting for your book to get published, waiting to finally have a baby), sit back, enjoy the music and just breathe. The light will turn green—stressing out about it won’t make life move any faster. But until then, just breathe.

 ”Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life…? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

                                                                                                                                            Matthew 6:27, 34

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